It's The Law... But Why?

Alabama ~ Putting salt on a railroad track may be punishable by death.

Alaska ~ Clowns beware! (That's all it says)

Arizona ~ Hunting camels is prohibited.

Arkansas ~ A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

California ~ Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Colorado ~ It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

Connecticut ~ It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.

Delaware ~ Alcohol may not be served in nightclubs if dancing is occurring on the premises at the same time.

Florida ~ Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Georgia ~ All sex toys are banned.

Hawaii ~ Coins are not allowed to be placed in one’s ears.

Idaho ~ A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.

Illinois ~ The English language is not to be spoken.

Indiana ~ Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

Iowa ~ The “Ice Cream Man” and his truck are banned.

Kansas ~ No one may sing the alphabet on the streets at night.

Kentucky ~ Dogs may not molest cars.

Louisiana ~ It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Maine ~ You may not step out of a plane in flight.

Maryland ~ It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies.

Massachusetts ~ A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.

Michigan ~ Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

Minnesota ~ It is illegal to sleep naked.

Mississippi ~ Private citizens may personally arrest any person that disturbs a church service.

Missouri ~ Minors can buy rolling paper and tobacco but not lighters.

Montana ~ Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated.

Nebraska ~ It is illegal for bar owners to sell beer unless they are simultaneously brewing a kettle of soup.

Nevada ~ It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.

New Hampshire ~ It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.

New Jersey ~ It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.

New Mexico ~ Idiots may not vote.

New York ~ The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

North Carolina ~ Oral sex is considered a crime against nature.

North Dakota ~ It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.

Ohio ~ It is illegal to get a fish drunk.

Oklahoma ~ People who make “ugly faces” at dogs may be fined and/or jailed.

Oregon ~ It is illegal to whisper “dirty” things in your lover’s ear during sex.

Pennsylvania ~ It it illegal to sleep on top of a refrigerator outdoors.

Rhode Island ~ It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.

South Carolina ~ It is perfectly legal to beat your wife on the court house steps on Sundays.

South Dakota ~ It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep in a cheese factory.

Tennessee ~ It is illegal to use a lasso to catch a fish.

Texas ~ The entire Encyclopedia Britannica is banned in Texas because it contains a formula for making beer at home.

Utah ~ It is illegal not to drink milk.

Vermont ~ It is illegal to deny the existence of God.

Virginia ~ Children are not to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Washington ~ All lollipops are banned.

West Virginia ~ It is legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.

Wisconsin ~ It is illegal to serve apple pie in public restaurants without cheese.

Wyoming ~ You may not take a picture of a rabbit from January to April without an official permit.

Must See Websites (Some Are 18+)

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My Favorite Store's Fate

Even though Steve & Barry's has deteriorated, it will always remain my favorite store followed by Kohl's at a close second.

All the tennis shoes I own were bought here. The Starbury shoe line is the greatest to date. You can still buy these shoes online (for an unbeatable $14.99).

The Skinny:
Founded by Steven Shore and Barry Prevor at the University of Pennsylvania in 1985, while Prevor was an undergraduate student, Steve & Barry's became a local popular destination due to its low prices compared to other university bookstores and gift stores. The success of the original store led to the opening of locations on several Big Ten campuses.

In 1998, Steve & Barry's opened a large mall-based store at Great Lakes Crossing in Auburn Hills, Michigan and began to offer private label apparel targeted to the whole family, as opposed to their original customer base of mostly university students. The new line of products included denim, business casual, active wear, outerwear, and T-shirts. (They had everything! All the cool shirts that Kohl's has, but more!)

In 2005, Steve & Barry's leased over 3,500,000 square feet of space in shopping centers throughout the United States, the most of any mall-based chain in the country. The result was 62 brand new supermarket-sized stores, which doubled its outlets. (This, in my opinion, was their downfall. Too much, too fast.)

In 2006 (the beginning of the end), TA Associates, a $10 billion private equity firm, closed a minority investment in the company for an undisclosed amount.

In March 2008, General Electric Holdings lent Steve & Barry's $197 MM dollars which the company has now defaulted on.

By the end of 2008 the company planned to liquidate all remaining stores filing chapter 11 bankruptcy and closing its doors for good.

On January 30, 2009, all remaining corporate employees were fired marking the end of Steve & Barry's. Sad.

Info found on Wikipedia.

10 Things You Can Still Believe In

1. Steak Dinners

One of my many rules of life is as follows. If you're ever away from civilization for any reason, and you end up spending a good chunk of time in a secluded area, the first thing you need to do when you get back is grab an overpriced piece of sirloin steak, (steak comes from Old Norse steik, "roast"). It's mankind's (Americans) ability to kill and eat delicious cow that separates us from those strange cultures that don't kill cows. And no matter how poor America gets, I don't think that will ever change. Believing in this is what separates me from the Kenyans. Well, that and my incredibly slow running speed.

2. Fellatio

Girls... Quality fellatio, and your ability to give it is the only reason some men wake up every day (Only 17% Of American Women Enjoy Doing This)... And you think I'm kidding.

3. Pez

Pez candy has been around forever (invented in 1927 in Vienna). It has been immortalized in movies and eaten by your Grandfather when he was a small child. It is timeless, tried, true and tasty. Respect it, and your life will be better.

4. T.V.

Few inventions will outlast the television (commercially available since the 1930's). It will be with us forever because people hate thinking. You probably already worship it anyway (though in truth, well, you are reading this…so that's something), but I figured I'd point out that, because everyone has one, it makes a real handy false idol. Just thought you should know.

5. Prostitution

It has been described as "the world's oldest profession." Most people would dispute this claim supported by the fact that hunting and farming were likely to have taken place first in human history. Either way you look at it, it's been around for as long as you and I have been alive. It dates back as early as the 18th century B.C., in the ancient society of Mesopotamia. That's even older than Jesus! It ain't going anywhere folks. You can count on that.

6. Alcohol

Though in the past alcohol has spent a few years taking crap from puritan groups, we all know it won't be going anywhere anytime soon. This timeless beverage is sung about, worshiped by frat monkeys and cried into during heartbreak. Alcohol has been used by people all over the world, in the standard diet, for hygienic/medical reasons and for recreational purposes. Some drinks have been invested with symbolic or religious significance suggesting the mystical use of alcohol (Greco-Roman religion). This crazy beverage dates back as far as 2100 BC and maybe even earlier. So bow to the goodness. Unlike your dad, I can promise you that this stuff will be around for your whole life.

7. Coca Cola or Pepsi

Fuck it, right? I mean, this stuff is a win/win and will be around when the dinosaurs come back from Neptune (that means a long time). Even if they have to put drugs in it to keep us buying it. These corporation just can't and won't die.

8. Olympics

No matter how little you care, no matter how little you watch, every four years, this stupid shit will pop up like a bad case of herpes (as opposed to that good case of herpes ~ you know ~ herpes plus?). You might as well have faith in it. It's not going anywhere either. At least you can get stoned with Phelps and watch it from now on.

9. War

This armed conflict can be dated back to a Nubian cemetery some 12,000 years ago. If you're a hardcore liberal, you would believe that your government learned long ago that war is what keeps them rich and keeps us in our place. Without war, we wouldn't have all that much to be afraid of. You can bank on that. Plus you have to have war to have peace. Think about it.

10. Taxes

Every good, every service, every chunk of income, and every organization (except churches and nations) get taxed. The first known system of taxation dates back to Ancient Egypt around 3000 BC - 2800BC. This was way before "No Taxation Without Representation". Death and taxes are here to stay. Taxes are way more reliable an event than anything else on earth. Hell, even the presence of oxygen.

Trigger's Two Cents:
As we struggle with the defining moments of our early adulthood, it is up to us to seek out and cling to those few things that we could expect to actually be around for us in the years to come. Unlike religion, marriage, or our local professional sports teams, some things will be around for years to come.

And those things deserve a little recognition and respect, because, quite frankly, not much else does.

What's A Job?

Juggling
Our
Bills

Every American, better yet, all the world know that jobs are tough to keep these days. I am one of the many millions of Americans that have found myself jobless. I'm not complaining. I have great friends and family that are helping me in my time of "blah". Plus I'm thinking positive and I see the glass as half and not the latter.

I was working a "Temp" job recently. It was only for five days, but we were working 12 to 15 hour days (excluding the time for lunch/dinner). Well in those long five days I met some interesting people. All the folks that were on the project with me were temp workers. They came from all kinds of random backgrounds. Black, White, Hispanic, Irish, Polar Bear (I just wanted to say that cause it made me smile), gay, straight, tall, short, long hair, no hair, red hair, braided hair, thin and heavy. We really were very diverse.

While working with these gentlemen, I found myself truly blessed to have met them. We all had such different views on the world, as well as the work force. Not everyone saw thing as "the glass half full" like I do, but that was what made it special.

If I had still been in my previous job, I never would have met these great people. It was almost like the Real World tv show. Not one person was the same, but we all had something in common. We disagreed on just about everything, but with out the "Real World" drama. It was wonderful to get so many different opinions and beliefs together in one room at no cost.

I recently spoke with one of the guys I worked with. He had a job interview that went awesome for a management position. He wanted to know that if he got the job, would I be interested in coming to work with him. In his new position, he will be allowed to hire a couple of people to work for him. Now how cool is that?

America, stay positive. I know it's tough. I can sympathize. I'm one of the missing pieces in this big job puzzle. As long as we keep our heads up and open our minds we will succeed in finding employment. I believe this.

We, will solve this crazy atmosphere of chaos. We, together are mighty. We, will survive.

21 Economic Models Explained With Cows

SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk away...

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

SURREALISM
You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

ENRON VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows. You go on strike, organise a riot, and block the roads, because you want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowkimon' and market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 2 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity. You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. You worship them.

A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows. Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows. You tell them that you have none. No-one believes you, so they bomb the shit out of you and invade your country. You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a Democracy...

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows. Business seems pretty good. You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows. The one on the left looks very attractive...

Information Brought To You By: Trigger & http://www.orsm.com/

Getting Lucky In The New Year

Traditionally, it was thought that one could affect the luck they would have throughout the coming year by what they did or ate on the first day of the year. For that reason, it has become common for folks to celebrate the first few minutes of a brand new year in the company of family and friends. Parties often last into the middle of the night after the ringing in of a new year. It was once believed that the first visitor on New Year's Day would bring either good luck or bad luck the rest of the year. It was particularly lucky if that visitor happened to be a tall dark-haired man.

Traditional New Year foods are also thought to bring luck. Many cultures believe that anything in the shape of a ring is good luck, because it symbolizes "coming full circle," completing a year's cycle. For that reason, the Dutch believe that eating donuts on New Year's Day will bring good fortune.

Many parts of the U.S. celebrate the new year by consuming black-eyed peas. These legumes are typically accompanied by either hog jowls or ham. Black-eyed peas and other legumes have been considered good luck in many cultures. The hog, and thus its meat, is considered lucky because it symbolizes prosperity. Cabbage is another "good luck" vegetable that is consumed on New Year's Day by many. Cabbage leaves are also considered a sign of prosperity, being representative of paper currency. In some regions, rice is a lucky food that is eaten on New Year's Day.

So there you have it. I wish everyone a Happy New Year and Good Luck in 2009!